If you’ve been reading about attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant—you might see some patterns show up in your relationship, but it probably doesn’t feel like the whole story.

Common insights might include:

• “You’re avoidant because you shut down.”

• “You’re anxious because you need too much reassurance.”

But if you or your partner are neurodivergent—such as having Autism Spectrum Disorder or ADHD—those labels might not be telling the full story.