When Supporting Your ADHD Partner Starts to Feel Like Carrying Them and How To Change That
You’re managing calendars, clocks and checklists for two and instead of connection in the relationship, you’re feeling resented and resentful. Your partner is shutting down and feeling inadequate and criticized.
This is not a failure on either partner’s part! It’s a signal that some adjustment is needed for both partners to feel supported, seen and loved.
Attachment Styles + Neurodivergence: When Attachment Differences Aren’t the Only Challenge
If you’ve been reading about attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant—you might see some patterns show up in your relationship, but it probably doesn’t feel like the whole story.
Common insights might include:
“You’re avoidant because you shut down.”
“You’re anxious because you need too much reassurance.”
But if you or your partner are neurodivergent—such as having Autism Spectrum Disorder or ADHD—those labels might not be telling the full story.
When One Partner is Neurodivergent: Therapy Strategies for Couples with ASD or ADHD
While being what many loving refer to as “neuro-spicy,” can be a strength in many ways, it does often present unique challenges in a romantic relationship, especially when one partner is neurotypical.